“And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow–not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love.” Romans 8:38 (NLT)
I don’t know if y’all are like me and think that boys and girls can’t be just friends without developing romantic feelings for themselves. Well I’m not like that again but that used to be me. Or rather I’m trying not to be like that. My case was extreeeemmmeeee. It was getting out of hand. I thought every guy that spoke to me wanted a relationship and that really isn’t true.
I declared a boy fast a couple of weeks ago and that means that instead of daydreaming about a boy that could be my husband, I’ll go and read my Bible or pray. The fast has been a terrible flop. It flopped soooooo bad I’m ashamed. So I decided to go to the Genesis (Like the Davies will say) and I realized I didn’t believe any guy will walk up to me and talk to me if he wasn’t attracted and if I did the walking up, I believed he’ll get attracted eventually and so every guy I spoke to was potential husband. Now that is ironic because I have a lot of guy friends that are really just friends, no strings attached so I don’t know how this mindset came about. And also if a guy wasn’t talking to me, I thought I was not attractive. This is a lie from the pit of hell. The purpose of relationships is to add value. If I don’t think you can add value to me, I won’t talk to you and I think others think that before they talk to me too. So no you guys, it’s not because guys are attracted to me they talk to me. I remember a friend I had that said he talks to me cos I make him laugh and when he’s having a bad day, the conversation cheers him up. I have a friend that anytime he messages me, I know I’m gon’ learn something from the scripture that day. So it’s possible to have a no strings attached relationship with the opposite sex.
I also decided to take a look at Jesus’ life. He had no babe but he had female friends. Maybe it was because of Mary sef that Judas went to betray Him. Martha also was his friend. Although their brother, Lazarus was part of the quartet. Also, the Samaritan woman, Jesus spoke to her first and it was not because He was attracted to her, but because He did not want her to perish (agape love) plus she had evangelistic potential in her and He was just helping her discover it. Same thing he did with Paul (sermon for another day). Jesus was also friends with Mary Magdalene. I believe He was popular with the females sef that’s why they went to His grave to anoint Him with spices on the third day (Mark 16:1). If Jesus just shunned the women saying He wasn’t here to develop feelings, I don’t think they’d have wanted to go and anoint Him with spices. Jesus was human and He felt like us so I’m very sure He could have crushed on girls but He controlled His feelings and was just friends with a them. So again, I say, guys and girls can be just friends.
This obviously is not something that just happens. It’s by making a conscious effort, renewing the mind. So guys, I have renewed my mind. If Jesus was just friends with girls, I can be just friends with boys too and when I happen to have a stubborn crush that refuses to die, I literally run from the temptation (I did this last sunday). I don’t hang around the person, or draw unnecessary attention to myself. And also, the boy fast, it works guys. Although I’m not that faithful with it, I don’t read my Bible or pray (I pray about it when I remember though), but I start exercising or see a movie when I start daydreaming. I believe everyone needs to come to this realization. The Bible says to guard one’s heart and this is one way to ensure that. Thinking every guy or girl out there is into you, creates a reality in your head that’s not always the reality. I once listened to a preaching by Heather Lindsey and she said imagine you’re thinking this guy called B is into you simply because he asked for your name and so in your head you’ve planned your wedding because you think He’s everything you’ve dreamed of (the only real conversation you’ve had with him was he asking for your name) but then 2 months later you hear B is engaged to this girl called A and you become heartbroken and nurse hatred for A. What does she have that you do not anyways? Meanwhile A never did anything to you but because you hadn’t guarded your heart and started imagining things that were not, you played yourself. I’d also like to add here not to encourage guys /girls attracted to you but you know there’s no future with both of you as a couple in it. I know you’re enjoying the attention but you’re wrecking the other person emotionally. That’s not a way to love your neighbour. I also believe that being able to control your thoughts and feelings prepares one for marriage. You’re going to be with just one person in the end and there would be tons of guys that’ll be better looking that’ll come your way. Whether as business partners, clients, shop attendants, bosses, whatever they are, they’ll come your way and you have to be able to control yourself and your emotions.
With these few points of mine, I hope I have been able to convince you that boys and girls can be friends. Can they be best friends however? I don’t think so. Only your significant other is allowed to be your best friend of the opposite sex. Adieous!
*Disclaimer: This is not a cast in stone advice. It is just my opinion and any guy reading this, please adjust scenarios to suit you. I’m female that’s why I used such examples, forgive me. Also, a relationship/friendship takes two people so if you’re not willing to be just friends with the opposite sex, this post is not for you.
Do you think girls and guys can be just friends? or best friends even?