Barc…

Sooo, Barca won the El-Classico yesterday. My sister is on top of the world now I’m sure. I’m a forever Madrid fan however so bleehhhh. I don’t care if they have not been their best lately because I’m ride or die!! Anyways I’m Barc (hence the title of this post), I don’t know for how long though but there’s a new post so I’m back!!!

What have I been up to? I’ve been a dead babe. I actually cannot point out anything that I have achieved in the past few months. I have tried so hard to balance every area of my life and have failed woofully. I ended up not giving any area enough time and so it was a major flop. I’ve been the definition of Jack of all trades master of none. I have learnt though, that sacrifices have to be made in order to be successful. So if I want to be a good daughter and do chores, I have to sacrifice sleep. If I want to be a better employee, I have to work later hours sometimes and do professional exams and if I want to pass professional exams I have to spend less time with friends but I can make it up to them when I pass and my salary increases 😭😭. So yes sacrifices have to be made in life. It’s just up to you to prioritize and choose what you’re sacrificing.

This post is actually a song of the week, but I have to give a background story first (permit me please). The first time I heard this song happened to be the time in my life when I was the loneliest but experienced love like I had never experienced before. The love of God is real guys!! So I finished secondary school and found out I was fighting with my mum a lot which was weird because my mum and I are bffs (unless it comes to boy matters). Sha we fought a whole lot and I later found out the family was in debt that was why. My extravagant ideas for graduation could not be afforded and she didn’t know how to tell me that was the reason why. Basically it was a tough year/couple of years for us and there was no one to talk to except family because no one could understand. I have learnt this year not to be apologetic that I am living a good life but to just thank God that He has been good to me. A lot of times, the things “rich” people see as problems are “poor” people’s realities and they get called ungrateful that they see these things as problems. I really do not agree with that line of thought. You cannot blame someone for having lived a good life (unless their source of wealth is not pure). Anyways, that was a point in my life where i felt lonely. I did not get admission into the university immediately because plans had to change so I stopped talking to a lot of friends from school and I felt like I was being left behind so I generally just kept to myself. Someone even told me he heard a rumor that I failed WAEC that was why I became lowkey. Hard time mehn!!! The point is that it was a bad time in my life, I stopped talking to friends but I drew closer to God and experienced love from Him in ways I could not imagine and to appreciate Him, I signed up to sing for the yearly concert at church and this week’s song of the week was the opening song. When you experience God’s love, you do things for God not because you have to but because you want to. My family and I are good now BTW, thank you for asking.

I have been feeling lonely again since my birthday earlier this month. I’m the only corp member at work, the only female in my department, I do not really have friends in church because I switched churches, the only one of my university classmates writing my proffession’s professional exam with the American body. I started projecting and at home, I felt I was failing as a daughter (I did not feel I was doing enough for my parents). I haven’t gotten to church early in weeks because I did not want to be “alone” so I try to stall as much as possible and sometimes I don’t even go. I do not go for lunch a lot at work anymore because I do not want to sit alone. All these things were happening around me and I had no one to tell and I felt so lonely. I had mastered being alone so much that people called me coded. Now I had mastered not being alone so much that I had become scared of loneliness. This life!! Today, the ushering department that I have wanted to join since forever asked for new members and I did not sign up because I felt it will just be another journey alone and I walked out. This was when I knew this was a serious something. Loneliness stopping me from serving God? Mbanu!!Β 

I had a talk with myself in the car before driving out about how stupid it was to be back to this scared of loneliness stage and I got home ready to trash out the issue with God. I used to be so good at being alone that I called myself the mystery girl and now I was avoiding it. Anyways, I put on my laptop to play music to get me in the zone and this song came up and I couldn’t help but smile. That time was such a great time in my life when I realized that Jesus is all I need. It is true what Nathaniel Bassey and Pastor Poju preached a while ago that we are weary and downcast because we have forgotten. We worry about tomorrow because we have forgotten that it was God that took care of today when we were still in yesterday. If you have not taken anything out of this story, remember that Jesus is all you need. I have realized that the lonely feeling does not mean that I am locked away from the world, It just means I am abiding under the shadow of the Almighty. God is my safe place so I am not shut out of the world, I am just with Him because He is the only one that understands or can relate so instead of standing by the gate and feeling trapped, I will just sit with him and discuss everything I am feeling and let Him help me. He is all knowing anyways…

The title of the song is Kuse byΒ  Psalmos ft Kore. You an download the song here. The lyrics are below.

Mo wo waju mi mo ri owo yin
Mo wo eyin wo mo ri ife yin
Won wa bere lo wo mi pe bawo ni mo se se
Mo so fun won wipe eeeeee

Solo:
(Emi na ko o olorun oba ma ni
Olo run oba ma ni
Olorun oba ma ni) 2x

Chorus:
(Moni baba kan oo
Moni baba kan ooo
Baba ara to mo iyi omo) 6x

Oluwa ku ise
Ehhh ehhhh ehhhh
Ku isee…
Ehhh ehhhh ehhhh
Ku isee…
Oooooooooo
Oluwa ku ise oooo
Ehhh ehhhh ehhhh
Ku isee…

Oni ko bi o su bu mo ro bi oo (elo o se ye)
Eterete ooo baba ku ise…(elelele jare bio ) 3x

(Oluwa ku ise
Iba mi ku ise) 2x
Ku ise 5x

Oni ko bi o su bu mo ro bi oo
Eterete ooo baba ku ise) 3x

Mo de wa so pe
Ni mo de wa so pe oo) 2x

O ni kan she lo ore ire bo…
Orun bi o ni…
Emi kan se lore iwo nbo…
Mo de ya so pe oooo ehhh.

Interlude:
Eyin bi olode o ba ku
Oju ide re kin ru ikoriko
Ko sa aseyin olubori
Ato fi arati bi oke
Ti emi
A le mi no emi
Ti mo fi goke odo afara tanja
Ara efi oju ire wo mi
Eniya efi owo anu kan mi
Emi na ko..
Eledumare ni
Olorun mi ahhh
Baba mi
Eledumare
Ogba gba ti gba alara ilara
Oba aa ji ki
Oba aa ji rii
Ehhh eyin
Ehhh beeee

Chorus:
Oni ko bi o su bu mo ro bi oo
Eterete ooo baba ku ise

Interlude
Oni kan wi o subu (maro guro ehhh)3x
Oooo…ooooooooooo

I have missed you guys so much and I plan to use these few days of holiday (since my company does not close for Christmas) to post a lot of things. Over to you now. Do you ever feel lonely? Or have you ever felt lonely? What do/did you do to overcome it?

P.S. Did you see that I kept my word and came back with a #CCC? I think I deserve a Christmas gift for this. Or a late birthday gift. What do you think?

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#CCC

Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life (Proverbs 4:23).

Hii guys!! Long time no conversation. I went for nysc orientation camp (a compulsory one year national youth service for Nigerians after university) in May that’s why I disappeared and then I’ve just been lazy and unconnected to the Source since I got back so I stayed away. As I promised, I’m going to be vulnerable today and tell you about a struggle I recently struggled with 😏😏.Β 

I’m not one who’s up to date with the latest songs or movies, which is very helpful as I was going off secular music but then as I’m driving or basically living my life trying to be right before God, this catchy, worldly song comes up and refuses to leave my head. Being discerning with music is a struggle for me basically. The recent terror in my head was Ed Sheeran’s shape of you. You guys I fell in love with that song and listened to it everyday, seven days a week. It didn’t help that in camp it was played a lot as well. I don’t download songs until I’m really feeling them and I downloaded this song. The love was really intense. I felt guilty though, I won’t lie. I thought about coming on here and letting it feature as the song of the week but then that in no way edifies anyone or shines any light. I imagined how Jesus would feel if He followed me on twitter and saw me tweeting the lyrics of shape of you. Would he retweet? I think not!! That’s when I decided to seek help from Him. You guys, God is amazing!!! This last week, four things I listened to/watched addressed the issue of our humanity. The thing is we are still human. This morning, as I was reading a book, the purpose driven life, I saw a portion about admitting our limitations. Admitting that we’re human and we don’t have it all figured out. Admitting that sometimes we don’t know what to do and we need guidance. It’s so hard to do that when we’re Christians because we set a high standard for ourselves. The truth is we are hated because we are in this world and not of this world and any slip up, we become the next hot topic on news blogs. Also, because we are humans, some of us set low standards for ourselves. You know these ones by their excuse that sounds like a broken record – the famous “we’re still humans and not perfect anyways”. Revivals are killed by our humanity. Either we think too much of it or not enough or it. The remedy however is seeing ourselves as God sees us – humans that are able to do all things through Him who strengthens us. God knows we are weak but He strengthens us to do all things. And yes, it’s only through God we can do all things. So, our humanity does not make us weak as long as we have God and also we are not able to do it all UNTIL we have God that strengthens us. We need to keep remembering that in Him we live, we move and we have our being.

Back to the music issue, I began rationalizing if listening to secular music was okay as long as it didn’t affect my thought process. Fortunately or unfortunately, I saw a picture of Jay z’s new album on a pastor’s instastory and I used that to justify myself. From justifying myself about listening to secular music, I moved on to justifying wearing inappropriate clothing and condoning swear words, compromising in relationships and basically going against some of my values. It was then I knew I needed a check and went back to the word of God, reading the book of acts (i like this book because it gives the account of the early church which is the account of most of us after accepting Jesus. We’re so gingered at first and then the fire burns out and we’re no longer hot for God. It’s a good book to read when you feel like you’re losing the fire). Later on, my friend sent me a message by Apostle Selman that can be downloaded here. The message is titled “Why revivals die?”. It talks about how our humanity kills revivals. I also stumbled across the Heather Lindsey show episode that talked about music and tv shows and how they unconsciously affect us. You can watch it below.Β 

I thought that the line – “everyday discovering something brand new” was actually “every woman’s covered in something brand new” and it made me wonder what my smell was and wanted me to get a smell that’s unique to me. Thankfully it wasn’t anything major that it made me do. The song in general though is a very lustful one. Also, watching too many kissing scenes in movies made me wonder if my decision here was me being extreme. I knew it was not something the devil told me to do, I knew it was not something I wanted to do myself because I daydream about kissing my boo. It was something God wanted/or something I wanted to do to give glory to God. During a recent Bible study, i realized that what God wanted in the old testament is what God wanted in the new testament and still wants now. He wants us to be pure without blemish. I saw a quote in twitter that purity is not abstaining from sex, but being focused on God. I want everything that concerns me to be focused on God and that’s why the decision was made. The Bible verse that says guard your heart is truly a good one.Β 

Jackie Hill Perry did a talk or preaching on spiritual warfare that I watched and she hit some key points. She talked about how the devil is not at war with God because Jesus defeated him a long time ago but the devil is warring with God by messing with our faith. Β We wrestle not against flesh and blood but against principalities and powers. She used Adam and Eve as a case study. The devil uses our humanity to mess with us. He presents a version of the Scripture to us but because our faith in God is weak, we don’t realize the verse was taken out of context. Faith is the only weapon of defense in the armor of God therefore we should work out our faith with fear and trembling (2 Corinthians 13:10). You really should watch the video.Β 

Lastly, I saw a thread on twitter about music. You can read it here. I’ve been obsessed with twitter of late. So many young people sold out to Christ. God is indeed doing wonders with our generation. Have an amazing week guys and pray for our generation. I love you, but God loves you more.Β 

And it is impossible to please God without faith. Anyone who wants to come to him must believe that God exists and that he rewards those who sincerely seek him (Hebrews 11:6).

I’ll leave you with another episode of the Heather Lindsey show. You can watch more episodes on her youtube channel.

Confessions of a Christian Chick

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew [and] approved of you [as My chosen instrument], and before you were born I separated and set you apart, consecrating you; [and] I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” Jeremiah 1:5 (AMPC)

Heyyy best friends!! It’s been a while I know and I’m so sorry about that. At first I was really busy but then I just became lazy. Happy New Month!!!! A number of people told me I’m too coded in this April that passed (although I think I’m an open book). I was voted most likely to elope with bae by my friends, because of my coded ways they say (although, I think someone capable of eloping has to be adventurous, not so much coded) so I decided to start this new segment on the blog. For every time I’m away for more than one week, I have to return with a confession. Introduce something new myself since apparently no one truly knows me πŸ˜’πŸ˜’. Let’s start today’s gist shall we? 

I DO NOT WANT TO KISS MY HUSBAND UNTIL MY WEDDING DAY. 

This is not a commandment in the Bible because I can see how some of you are already bringing out your Bibles for me to point out the book, chapter and verse so I repeat, this is not a commandment in the Bible. The Bible however does say to not fornicate and to flee from all appearances of evil and when God tells me to flee, being the drama queen that I am, I pick race. Also, Cornelius Lindsey said God told him not to kiss his wife until their wedding day because she was not his yet and that made so much sense to me. My boyfriend is not mine yet until we’re married. The Bible even says in 1st Corinthians 7 that it’s not permissible for a husband to deny his wife of his body as the husband has authority over the wife’s body and vice versa so I know that I own him after marriage *evil laugh*. Before marriage however, there is nothing of the such. Its possible that I date someone and end up not marrying him so he’s not really mine. You don’t just go to a car dealer, pick up the keys to a car and drive it home that it’s yours. You have to pay for it and even if you say but you can test drive, remember that once you hit it, dent it, scratch it, you pay for it as well. You can’t eat your cake and have it. 

A while ago, I went to visit my friend who wanted to see me and on getting there, he started to tell me how he had feelings for me. There was nothing wrong with that but I told him I didn’t feel the same way and that’s how my guy nau wanted to kiss me saying kissing makes people see things differently. Now I don’t know about you, but marriage is a forever business and I won’t want to enter into it eyes closed. My friend explained to me how this (kissing making people see things differently) happens but I wasn’t really listening, I was in shock. My eyes were wide open and my brain was functioning perfectly when I said I did not feel the same way about him so why would kissing change anything? I didn’t sha wait to find out. I don’t want to make decisions with a cloudy mindset. 

The main purpose of a phone is to make and receive calls that’s why no matter what you’re doing on your phone, when a call comes in, there’s a disruption so you either pick the call or ignore it. This does not stop the phone from having other functions. It just recognizes the main purpose as most important or of utmost priority and the others as peripheral. Marriage, in the same way, is first for companionship, to find a helpmate that would help in achieving God’s purpose for your life. God saw that it was not good for Adam to be alone and so He brought Eve. This is the primary reason for marriage. Marriage is first and foremost for companionship and I would want to see if I enjoy the company of my boyfriend without the attractions (distractions)  before I marry him. I want to truly know him, what he stands for and see if we have the same vision in life, basically just enjoy his company so that when I’m pregnant and throwing up and cranky and I might not feel like kissing or touching him, I want to know that I’ll enjoy just being around him. It’s before marriage I’ll check that because marriage is till death do us part. 

Right now, this “not kissing before marriage” is getting really popular but I made the decision when I knew about just Heather and Cornelius Lindsey and I won’t even lie to you that it’s been easy. I don’t have a boyfriend yet and I’ve changed my mind about it a million times so I’m telling you guys (first set of people I’m telling actually) so that you can serve as an accountability group for me. These are some of the reasons my lips are going to lose their virginity on my wedding day. Basically, all the reasons can be summed up into two

1. I want to honor God and put Him first

2. I want to truly know my future hubby before I agree to forever. 

*Bonus reason*

3. It helps in the filtering of guys

So now you know one private thing about me. Tell me one thing about yourself. I’d love to know you better. How do you feel about not kissing till the wedding day? Have you tried it?  Are you trying it?  Or do you know anyone trying it?  I’d love to hear from you. 

Till next time!!

Phos….xx